Friday, December 30, 2005

Where have all the cowgirls gone? (apologies to Paula Cole)

So I've got this buddy (we'll call him Fred) who is having trouble meeting a woman that isn't totally insecure or carrying knives.

Fred's in his mid-30s and a likeable sort. He doesn't smoke or do drugs and he has a solid head on his shoulders. We've had tons of great conversations and he loves to have a good time. He's in shape, of above average height and intelligence, and he has money in his pocket. In short, there's nothing wrong with this guy, other than the fact that he must have some invisible mark on his soul that says "PISS OFF".

On the other hand, there's me. I'm short, round, balding and ill-tempered, and somehow I found a wife and we have a new baby. If anybody ought to be flypaper for the wrong sort of women, it should be me.

So where did Fred go wrong? Any women out there inclined to share why they find perfectly normal men unattractive?


Call me "Fred" said...

Hello, cyberspace. This is the aforementioned "Fred".

Yeah, so I was in my favorite punk rock dive last night. It was between sets, and I was thinking to myself, "Why can't I ever meet any quality single women over age 25?" Then I realized ... I'm in a punk rock dive. There are no women over 25 here. So, yeah, there you go.

To further lend some perspective:

There's about a 2% chance that anyone will EVER respond to that ad. But holy crap, was that fun to write.

Highmark said...

Jammer, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you guys are already "brokebacking" :)